Dear Fourteen Year Old Me

Dear fourteen year old me,

As you sit down to write that suicide note, think about all the good times you’ll be missing out on. I swear living will be worth it, I’ve been through them. Yes, there’s some things you’ll experience where it feels like your heart was ripped out of your chest but when things are good, they’re really good. You will experience a few times that people are not as they seem but each one you meet teaches you who you are as a person, you don’t need them in your life, and they do not determine your worth. You’ll meet your best friend and he’ll make you realize that friendship isn’t about what you can do for each other but rather being there when they need you, going to the movies just because, and show you that you are able to be 100% honest with at least one person in your life. Don’t think about all the fights and mean things your sister has said to you and you’ve said to her. Yes, there will be times you wish didn’t happen and times you wish had but you have to realize you guys are very different people that won’t always get along. She has given you one beautiful little boy already but she will give you two more who are just as beautiful and just as loving. He’ll will grow up to get on your nerves but you will never love him any less, after all he is the reason you decide to live. Your second nephew is the most adorable little boy with brown hair and blue eyes. He’s kind of shy but you will never doubt how much he loves you. Your third nephew, your little boy, looks so much like the oldest it’s crazy. His laughter can make everyone in the room smile. He is the one that’s attached to you. The oldest has his Meemaw, the middle has his Grandpa, and the little one has you. You will have a bond like no one can imagine with each of those three boys. Mom and Dad love you. That will never change. You get accepted to a good University and you change your major once from Forensic Accounting to Law and Economics. Yes, it’s hard but you are strong and you will get through it. You will lose a few people that is very hard but you will get through it. You lose your dogs but remember they are with grandma and she’ll take care of them. Your new little dog reminds you so much of the other two. And he never stops jumping on you or just lays on you. There are many times you wouldn’t trade for anything, so as you’re writing that note…don’t.

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